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Monday, November 30, 2009
I am not sure, how shall i put it across about my feelings, right now at this very moment. Yesterday was a bad bad day for me, which causes me to be in hospital and landed myself in critical care area.It was so bad to a state that i nearly turn unconcious yesterday, the doctors tried their best to let me regain my concious.. There is voices telling me to pull it thru, and here am i blogging...
I couldn't bear to elobrate what have happened to me yesterday, till now i am still upset what have happen.. Due to some incident, i nearly lost my life after coming back from Malaysia...
It's like god given me stengthen to stay on, and asked me not to leave till my day has come. But due to this, i lost something very precious to me..
All causes, because i never expected it and due to some bad quarrelling between me and dearie and causes my body collapsed down.
Yesterday, dearie was so panicked after quarrelling which me as he saw my sms-es telling him that i cannot take it anymore as the stomach pain is killing me.. he quicken to send me to hospital and i almost lost my conciousness..
It took me 30 mins to regain half of my concousiness.. been doing blood test, urine test and ECG as well.. all not really as normal as i thought so.. Urine traces blood, high PH and slight abnormality heart beat been traced as well..
When doctors asking me questions, i couldn't even think of any, as my mind practically was blanked out.. totally couldn't recall what have happens..
They can't really give me a right diagnosis, and just send me back home to rest.. so i have spoke to my boss, she been nice to grant me ONE week leave for me to rest..
And, what should i do for now is to rest, without any disturbance and must be stress free for now..
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
hmm.. today is kind of busy. This few days i wasn't in a good mood, feel like crying in fact. Sometimes i feel that dearie is not been understanding enough, he'll sudden raise up his voice(machim scolding) when we are urging. Like today, we are meeting at jurong east, he did told me that i'll need to wait. So i agreed to it, however he made me waited for him for an hour??!!I didn't expect to wait that long, seriously i'm fed up my leg is sore even though i'm sitting. My back is pain till unbearable, and yet i need to wait that long??!! So i called him, than i asked "why you take so long? i have waited for an hour" than he replied "i told you already le mah, i'm busy working, and told you that you need to wait". I replied to him "i know, it's so long, must as well i go home" than this time he replied me with an angry tone "than must as well we don't meet at the first place", i was pissed and feel like crying already. I kept quiet, and he said "give me awhile i'm now already coming out"
Soon after he came and met me, by that time my leg was numb. I can't feel anything, just slowly walk to the bus. When sitting down, my whole back like going to break immediately, i almost cried my tears was at the corner of the eyes. Yet i still keep quiet, and trying to move my back. After much torture, i couldn't take it so i slept. This time my ez-link card was on my hand, stupidity without realising it hurts my hand. I found out only when i was fully awake.
Than dearie realised that my hand is in pain, but somehow i am relactant to let him hold my hand. (i can say i'm every emotional when people start raising up their voices, and somehow i'm ultra senstive) somehow it's took me sometime to talk to him again and we played aracde.
we slow walk back to my house, and he continue to crap, somehow there is something distracted. But i have ignored, when we reached home, my back and leg is SERIOUSLY in pain. Than he asked me to take out my shoes first, i couldn't think much, so i said "why you asked me that?" than he replied "Machim i'll want to eat you" so i replied in a joking tone "yeah.." guess what happen next? He replied "think we shall meet lesser, so you will not feel that way".
I have make an effort to msg him, to check whether to meet. And yet, i'm treated that way, which means i shall stop msging him to check to meet. Let him check with me will i meet?? i'm confused!
I ran in to my room, and start to tear. I can't tolerate anymore, who'll want to hear all this?? My heart was shattered to pieces, when i heard that. He almost urge with me, as i said that he always "raise up his voice" than he urged back saying that i can't hear well. Yes, i have partially loss my hearing, i admit. It's even more pain when words been mentioned which hurts me more and with "raising up of voice". This is what i meant!!
What should i do?? i'm tired, SERIOUSLY tired.
"I know there is alot of weakness in me, but i can't change this is me! Same as you, you don't like been change so do i. If needed so, it needs time."
"i know you need care and concern, i'm slowly doing that, give me time"
Am i taking for granted? I think it's me, is my fault, I AM SORRY!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Thanks god, my blogspot is back. Phew! Having diffculties with it for a few days without editing it, after much fixing, and now is working fine.Anyway still outstand some photos that i've took previously, later will upload..
Hmm, today suppose to meet a friend but due to have sudden back pain, and it's cause me unable to come down to the bed. Also walking freaking slow.. she called me a few times, but somehow i was walking slowly back to the bed. Also took a short nap, till dearie keep calling and smsing than i realised there is miss call.
Haha, thought that i have fainted or went missing. Anyway dearie so worried got down to my house and pack me some bf/lunch for me, as he execpted that i hasn't take my meals. He always well prepare with things, but at times he doesn't. However, he's still the best.. able to tolerate my nasty temper, my nag, my sickness and my moody character which i'm touch with it. Though he has his weak point but neitherless he still take cares of me. =)
Ok, today after eating as usual we watched online movies and at the same time he service alittle for my laptop and phone. He's my "FAKE WIZARD" (he's going to kill me if he sees that..) =P
Unfortunately, the laptop given a hopless signal of low batt while we watched an exicting show. argh! thereafter, we decided to have a dinner since it's like somewhere 7 plus. So i went home and changed, and we slow walk to Boon Lay Shopping Centre to have our dinner, thanks god! my back was better so is easiler to walk that far, or not i'll be dead if i gonna to walk that far.
But with dearie companion, that isn't far.. hee =) Come back to it.. when we reached there we're abit lost our direction, instead of walking straight we walked one round of the shopping centre. LOL! After much walking, at last we saw FOOD CENTRE!! Phew! What a relieve!
We found a seat and dearie start to order food, and as asual i'm the princess sitting there waiting for food been served =) always bully him .. hee =) But he also bully me, always make fun on me..!! He ordered "Ba kua", "satay" and mine "kway teow".
We're happily eating, till than i suddenly don't feel good, so in the end dearie got to finish all up. Haha, poor stomach! Anyway, i have took a few photos but somehow having problems uploading to my computer. Nevermind my fake wizard will help me to get it fix. hee =)
After dinner we have a walk back, and this time i walk pretty fast till dearie needs to run to catch up. He was so worried that my tummy will get upset and as well i might fall down, cause i can't see well in the night >.<>.< rat(me). -.-''
While he's sitting, i can't stop moving (so happy that i can walk and my tummy is better), i did some excerise at the park which located near my house. Than dearie join me to play.. 2 old kids playing in the park.. hahaha! but is a great time to spend there, and sweat alittle.
Dearie doesn't want me to move that much, as my knee and other parts of the body isn't that good. I debated back, saying that minimum of excerising is still good.. He roll his eye! wakaka! perhaps mine is too much for him? hahaha! Friends know that i couldn't stop running, jumping around perhaps why there is so much people concern about me. =P
After some fun, we continue to watch the unfinish movie and he headed back home to rest. Today indeed it's awesome to have dearie to accompany me.
Tomorrow we've planned to have a movie, hee.. looking forward for tomorrow.. bye!
Labels: pain, sad, wonderful day