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Monday, November 30, 2009
I am not sure, how shall i put it across about my feelings, right now at this very moment. Yesterday was a bad bad day for me, which causes me to be in hospital and landed myself in critical care area.It was so bad to a state that i nearly turn unconcious yesterday, the doctors tried their best to let me regain my concious.. There is voices telling me to pull it thru, and here am i blogging...
I couldn't bear to elobrate what have happened to me yesterday, till now i am still upset what have happen.. Due to some incident, i nearly lost my life after coming back from Malaysia...
It's like god given me stengthen to stay on, and asked me not to leave till my day has come. But due to this, i lost something very precious to me..
All causes, because i never expected it and due to some bad quarrelling between me and dearie and causes my body collapsed down.
Yesterday, dearie was so panicked after quarrelling which me as he saw my sms-es telling him that i cannot take it anymore as the stomach pain is killing me.. he quicken to send me to hospital and i almost lost my conciousness..
It took me 30 mins to regain half of my concousiness.. been doing blood test, urine test and ECG as well.. all not really as normal as i thought so.. Urine traces blood, high PH and slight abnormality heart beat been traced as well..
When doctors asking me questions, i couldn't even think of any, as my mind practically was blanked out.. totally couldn't recall what have happens..
They can't really give me a right diagnosis, and just send me back home to rest.. so i have spoke to my boss, she been nice to grant me ONE week leave for me to rest..
And, what should i do for now is to rest, without any disturbance and must be stress free for now..
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Nothing much for me today, only BUSY with my work. Because, i was sicked for days.. =( crap!Today i kinda worried that my boss with comment about my MCs, i was wrong. She didn't, perhaps she's too busy to bother. She's looking on working performace, and etc.. and am i able to cope with that much load. Thanks god! hee!
I'm delighted that i have such nice colleagues, they helped me to clear my piles of files, and i have much more time to sort my letters, and making appointment for my clients. I've incorporated lots of companies, and rushing for deadlines.. which may stress myself.
Well, i have cleared quite a number of things which outstand sometime ago. hee! and phew! manage to meet deadlines. Woohoo! so sad, this few days didn't meet dearie, kinda miss him. He's so busy with work.. keep OT!! =.='''
But least yesterday manage to meet awhile and catch a movie. hee!
haiz, been so utterly speechless with people who are not sound mind. Things had already over, let it over la. Why still bother to say things which is so untrue. siao dot! =.=!! can't be bothered! =P
zZZz.. tired le.. going to sleep soon! bye..
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Today diarrhea is much better already, but i'm on diet restriction. Porridge and bread is allow for this moment! damn, no more good food. Must be all soft diet, and small meals. Gosh!Anyway, today dearie won a pair of tickets, he won a pair of "FINAL DESTINATION 4"2D how great is that?! It was at Dhoby Ghaut Cathay, once we reached there we went to collect our tickets and move on to the theatre.. It written there 7.30pm, however it's start at 7.50pm, is really too long.. after advertisement than it actual starts at 8pm?! Both of us nearly slept in there by just waiting. LOL..!
The story starts by there is a guy, who have some sort of "sixth sense" some says "deja vu". He able to sense things which yet to happen, and able to happen. While the 3 people was engrossing watching the car racing, this particular person was experience some kind of sensing that they're in serious danger. He able to visualiza what happen and when he'll happen. As such, he quite warned his other friends, while warning he alert the rest of the publics and it was a chaos by than. Suddenly great explosion occurs! and so on..
He managed to save several lifes, which they're suppose to die at that tragic incident. However that wasn't an end, he visualize things again after he went to the memorial, he vision more deaths. The deaths are all related to the incident happen earlier on, those who're saved are meant to die.
They went to research and found that they are able to resolve the matter, is to stop all deaths occurs and break the chain of death. He tried many times, and efforts but people does not believes what he've said and not in time to save their lifes.
Though he's disappointed, yet he didn't give up to fight for a chance to live with his gal and to protect them. When they thought that the chain of death is broken, after saved one of his friend lives. However, it wasn't totally resolved, he was caught with surprise that he has made a mistake by mix up with the death order.
As such more deaths occur, this time he visualize that his gf and his friend is going to die in the cinema. He ran of his life, to stop it happen. After much torture, he managed to save both lives, and himself.
But sadly to say, they're died in the final segments, as the death guards will not let them live, as they're meant to die at the first place. As he ever mentioned "i think at the first place, we're meant to be here and die here". The the stories end here!
The show was good, but it's damn gross!! if you're the one who doesn't like too gross movie i suggest to avoid the show, but you in love with triller than you go for it, this is what you may want to watch it!
After watching the movie, we bid goodbye and went back home to rest. My turn to rest.. bye bye!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
hmm.. today is kind of busy. This few days i wasn't in a good mood, feel like crying in fact. Sometimes i feel that dearie is not been understanding enough, he'll sudden raise up his voice(machim scolding) when we are urging. Like today, we are meeting at jurong east, he did told me that i'll need to wait. So i agreed to it, however he made me waited for him for an hour??!!I didn't expect to wait that long, seriously i'm fed up my leg is sore even though i'm sitting. My back is pain till unbearable, and yet i need to wait that long??!! So i called him, than i asked "why you take so long? i have waited for an hour" than he replied "i told you already le mah, i'm busy working, and told you that you need to wait". I replied to him "i know, it's so long, must as well i go home" than this time he replied me with an angry tone "than must as well we don't meet at the first place", i was pissed and feel like crying already. I kept quiet, and he said "give me awhile i'm now already coming out"
Soon after he came and met me, by that time my leg was numb. I can't feel anything, just slowly walk to the bus. When sitting down, my whole back like going to break immediately, i almost cried my tears was at the corner of the eyes. Yet i still keep quiet, and trying to move my back. After much torture, i couldn't take it so i slept. This time my ez-link card was on my hand, stupidity without realising it hurts my hand. I found out only when i was fully awake.
Than dearie realised that my hand is in pain, but somehow i am relactant to let him hold my hand. (i can say i'm every emotional when people start raising up their voices, and somehow i'm ultra senstive) somehow it's took me sometime to talk to him again and we played aracde.
we slow walk back to my house, and he continue to crap, somehow there is something distracted. But i have ignored, when we reached home, my back and leg is SERIOUSLY in pain. Than he asked me to take out my shoes first, i couldn't think much, so i said "why you asked me that?" than he replied "Machim i'll want to eat you" so i replied in a joking tone "yeah.." guess what happen next? He replied "think we shall meet lesser, so you will not feel that way".
I have make an effort to msg him, to check whether to meet. And yet, i'm treated that way, which means i shall stop msging him to check to meet. Let him check with me will i meet?? i'm confused!
I ran in to my room, and start to tear. I can't tolerate anymore, who'll want to hear all this?? My heart was shattered to pieces, when i heard that. He almost urge with me, as i said that he always "raise up his voice" than he urged back saying that i can't hear well. Yes, i have partially loss my hearing, i admit. It's even more pain when words been mentioned which hurts me more and with "raising up of voice". This is what i meant!!
What should i do?? i'm tired, SERIOUSLY tired.
"I know there is alot of weakness in me, but i can't change this is me! Same as you, you don't like been change so do i. If needed so, it needs time."
"i know you need care and concern, i'm slowly doing that, give me time"
Am i taking for granted? I think it's me, is my fault, I AM SORRY!