I am now in a mix feelings.. I've a friend who just had relationship issue with his gf then suddenly mentioned things that which scares me a lot. It relates me to my previous relationship, which my ex put me into difficult position. And, no doubt how bad was it I still standby him. When everything goes sour and lead to break up which still fresh in mind.

Many has asked me when am i getting a bf? My answer is "Let nature take it's course" but I know there are people want to know me. But it's just stop me from doing it..

My heart hurts a lot.. a lot.. It's like never ending pain in me. When people confess or hinting me, I go backwards. I am scare, I am really scare.. Many things happened to me, which still fresh in my mind. Many times, I teared unknowingly even one time, I was working and my colleague played songs which really reminds me about what happened in the past. Which caused me nearly teared.

Sorrows whereby I doesn't know whom should I tell to.. I tried to forget but I simply can't.. One of my lovely colleague tell me to relax, I am trying, I am trying really hard.

Due to what had happened, It's make me hard to believe. I doubt a lot.. seriously! To a extend that I cannot believe anyone. Answer is just so simple, I scare of been hurt again. I can't afford to get hurt anymore. Really..

I lost a lot of things.. It's hard for me to stand from where I fall.. It took me long time to stand and I am still trying. No matter, how I try to smile to people or make people laugh but inner me is not that happy. Making people happy rather than let them know I am actually not. I am not a person who is strong. I am a fragile person like a glass. When it breaks no matter how I mend it will be a wound/scar in me. The pain in there never goes away.. I'm still feeling pain..