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Friday, April 17, 2009
today is my first day of work in a law firm, and yearning to be there.. and after yesterday stress, my boy couldnt bear to let me go to work alone and insisted to come with me make sure no one come and disturb me.I been so paranoid and didnt sleep and manage to sleep at 4am plus.. and woke up at 7 am plus.. so tired! than i force myself to wake up and i called my boy see is he awake if not i shall let him sleep more.. as he also damn du lan.
Couldnt imagine that he woke up earlier as i expected! gosh! when i see him he really look real tired but when he saw me, he heart ache, my eyes are like puffer fish. (cried the whole night) than he comfort me again and talk to me to make sure i dont drop anymore tears.
when he sent me to work i was like damn! dont really wish to leave him but he got work to do so i left him. today whole day been doing keying my data statitics. And make me damn sleepy. -.- than went for lunch.. and my boy ah bu called...
she wants to make sure everything was fine and asked me whats going on and etc.. it make me more sad.. in fact there is somethings that my boy ex has lied to her.. and make me seems to be the third party (which i am not!)she did clarify and understand but still i am.... i hold my tears..
after lunch i went back and keep mugging in my work to make me stop thinking all this issue.. when is time to go home, and abt to meet my boy i was not able to control my emotion again. by the time i see him, i was abt to cry but i hold on again, and he realise.. he asked me what happen, and i am reluctant to open my mouth.
than awhile, he keep talking and my tears just roll down and he asked me what is actually going on. than i told him i feel so stress in the relationship, seems that i am the one who causes the whole issue. If is not me, i think he would be living much better.. but he say no, is not my fault, is all his fault for under estimate his ex. He shouldnt be trusting her that she wouldnt make a issue, but she did!
she told ah boy ah bu that boy is not going to pay her back money and in fact asked her to pay for the trip thing (in fact is was a joke) i dont understand where her brain is and go bullshit this??!! i heard the conversation yesterday, and i heard him saying that he been wanted to pay but she kept insisting other way??!! she kept marking up the money and than say ask him to calculate..?? and do you know how many times she repeated?? MANY TIMES!
I was like.. crap! dont understand english or what? than he kept asking her for bank account and you know what she REFUSED to reply any msg! and whats more?? SHE STILL HOLDING AH BOY PHONE! so what the heck she is making this ding dong issue?? practically is a joke man! And kept asking him why treat her this way and that.. if not her damn attitude i will nv believe that he will scold her.
Another one is go and tell people that he has gf and DEMAND ME FOR EXPLANATION??!! wth?? who am i to him man? god, i really not sure how long more i can take it man, everything seems so wrong!! CANT I HAVE MY HAPPINESS??
i been assured by boy again and again, thought i am smiling but my heart is upset with it.. i couldnt believe because of me he needs to face all this ding dong issue.. really!! i wouldnt want to create any trouble or bring any trouble to anyone! i swear!! But some how is not the way that we are expect..
(ps: my eyes still swells, and my bladder still not good either..)